Silver Promise
by Zeil
Summary: Seth, thinks and wants and wish... Slash, just so there's no misaprehensions
1. Silver Promise

**Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own the pacifier... shocking isn't it!  
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**A/N: There is an obsence amount of Shane/Zoe stuff out there well here's a Seth/Shane. One-sided... and not anything close to graphic...  
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**Silver Promise**

_Kiss me just once... and I will die happy...

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_

Seth hates his principal. He hates her because she sent him away. She told him that it was okay to go and to him it doesn't matter that Shane was the one wanting to leave. Because he could never blame the ex-soldier, now current soldier for anything. So he hates his principal instead.

He already hated her before so it's not that big a stretch… because she got to touch him. But at the same token he'd kind-of liked her for that too because there was no world where Shane would ever touch him, at least she had kept him near… for a while and Seth had been able to live with that. But Shane's been MIA from Seth's life since June though and time isn't making the infatuation any better. His hand use to shake whenever Shane would accidentally brush against him. Now they shake when he realizes he may never see the other again. Mostly though he tries not to think about that possibility. Prefers to think of Shane walking up the driveway.

It occurred to Seth awhile ago that he's more than a little addicted. Actually now that Shane's been absent for awhile Seth in no doubt that he's an addict. At least at night. During the day, he's okay mostly, he can function, get through school, get through dinner and homework and everything else without anyone ever knowing how badly he misses the other.

It's when he wakes up in the middle of the night that it's the worst and the silver circlet that he'd love to put on his ring-finger, but is too big to fit on anything but his thumb is the only thing that keeps him from falling to bits.

The ring he'd stolen, well had attempted to steal from Shane… The other had busted him in the act and looking back its really not shocking why.

"Trying to rob me kid." And looking back on it Shane had sounded more amused than anything. At the time though his heart had jumped up into his throat.

"Shane I wasn't…" How could he explain what he'd wanted without giving everything away.

"I course not…" Shane had drawled thickly, taking the circlet from him and turning it over in his hand. _God those hands…_

"It's not worth anything." Shane had explained, had smirked in that damned way that had gotten Seth into all this trouble in the first place.

"I wasn't…" Seth had swallowed thickly.

"Give me your hand…" And Seth had held it out lamely. Heart fluttering violently as Shane's hand closed over his lightly, the cool bit of silver sliding up his finger.

"I know what you want." _You couldn't possibly…_ Seth's mind had moaned painfully.

"And I'm coming back for what's mine!" Shane had smiled and caused another violent shudder. He'd meant the ring, had given it to Seth as a way to assure him he was coming back… for what was his. The ring… and perhaps the principal… During daylight hours Seth knew this, excepted what little he could have from Shane. But at night his damned sentimentalities took him for a ride. Head playing war with heart.

At night he couldn't help but wish, couldn't help but think… Couldn't help but want those long strong hands all over him and Seth wishes he could go back to those naïve fantasies where Shane had just touched him, kissed him. Because Seth had never known exactly where it was supposed to go after that… Unfortunately in one of his more daring moments he looked in up on the Internet… Now he can't stop the bright, hot, vivid images that flit beneath his lids every time he shuts his eyes…

It's passed three in the morning and Seth feels tears gathering at how quiet and lonely it is. His room is dark save for the small square of ghostly light pouring in the window… Seth curls in on himself, tucking hands into his chest, feeling the large chunk of metal pressing into his warm flesh… It's the only thing that keeps him going… Knowing that Shane will keep his word and come back… for what's his… He just wishes it were him.


	2. Severed Silver Knots

**A/N: Been a while since I posted anything- hopefully I'm back on the horse, so to speak. The usually disclaimers still apply and on another note- I hope I don't piss to many people off with this. Also thankyou to anyone who has review my other Shane/Seth stories. **

Severed Silver Knots

_There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you._

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It's a thick circlet of knotted silver vines; he'd worn it for 7 months before one of Zoë's friends had asked who his sweetheart was- explaining that the band was folded into Celtic love knots. 

It had been right then that he realized- after blushing like an idiot- that for all Zoë's pompom waving, she's not a idiot. She'd looked at the ring and known that it was Shane's, then had looked at her brother and drawn the same conclusion- he'd seen it in her expression, had expected some nasty insult to topple from her mouth within seconds. It hadn't gone that way though, second's of silent staring had strung together into a full minute, then two and finally she'd simply looked away, had never ever mentioned it again.

Her finger brushes the tied silver now, her fingers sliding through his own, her skin hot and dry. Her umbrella bobs over his head for a moment as she shifts it to cover the both of them, which is really quite useless since his suits already soaked through. Jacket, shirt, and pants, all sopping and clinging, water trickling down over his face from rain-slicked hair, over his cold numbed fingers, pooling in his shoes.

"Seth- he wouldn't want you to get sick."

He already knows as much- his mother tried to get him to leave with her using the exact same reasoning, though he'd known it before that too. If Shane were there he'd have received a sharp slap across the back of his head by now, would've been tossed into the back of a car… He's had dreams like that, where Shane catches him being a brat and puts him over his knee, which is so cliché it usually makes him blush. He's not much in the blushing mood right now though, standing over Shane's freshly-filled grave and maybe, just maybe it's also a little disrespectful to be thinking about his hormone driven wet dreams right now; he just can't bring himself to care about that either.

He wants to cry, or scream, maybe even kick the headstone just once… His mother had cried through the whole thing, Lulu with her, clutching her side, sobbing almost uncontrollably against her jacket. Which was actually the calmest she'd been since the night they'd gotten the news. Seth supposes it has something to do with being out in public, since in the privacy of their mothers home Lulu had torn her room apart; one of her walls now had her CD player embedded in it. Seth's remembers looking at the damage and thinking that under entirely different circumstances, it would probably be a little funny.

It's not though, Seth actually feels sorriest for Lulu since for her, this is like loosing their father all over again. Peter too, though he doesn't really remember Shane that well Seth suspects.

Tyler clings and cries because everyone else is… Seth doesn't even know if he's old enough to understand the concept of a funeral yet.

"Seth." Her hands on his shoulder now, offering comfort, or maybe trying to move him, he doesn't really care which it is.

"She was here."

"I know I saw her Seth." The idiot principal, who'd dabbed at her eyes very respectfully whilst at the same time clutching her husband's hand. He's so angry with her for that, for marrying someone other than Shane and sometimes he hates Shane for ever loving her in the first place… go figure.

Lightening flashes somewhere in the distance and the vague ramble of thunder follows it.

"What's wrong?" Zoë asks when he laughs and there's real worry in her voice now.

"Funeral under a pitch black sky- how fucking cliché." He snorts.

"Seth come home with me- don't go to the wake." Even with them both in their 20's it's still typically against her principals to ask him to do anything and that she does now, scares him just a little. Shows how worried she really is about him. Means he's obviously in worse shape than he thinks he is.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles listlessly, finally looks at Zoë rather than staring blankly at the wet ground. Finds her giving him that look.

"He was your friend." He says with a sigh.

"Yeah… a good one." He doesn't quite get the purpose of the statement- hell maybe she's just humoring him.

"He was yours too." Her hand tightens on his, shifts the ring slightly. It rests where a wedding band would… his hands are big enough now…

_No he never was._

It doesn't hurt, because it's not really any kind of realization. Rather it's a fact he's always been painfully aware of… Shane had never really been his anything.

Realizes he has a hide to sulk out in the rain, when no one else is, when it must be worse for them all. Zoë's and their mother have lost a best friend. Lulu, Peter and Tyler have lost yet another father. Even the principal lost an ex-lover.

He doesn't have the right to grieve. He'd lost something he'd never even had- shouldn't hurt at all and it pisses him off that it does.

_Good thing he never knew… he'd laugh at you, you fucking child._

"Seth."

"Yeah- let's go." Any other time and it might bother him to be holding his sisters hand, mostly because people usually mistake them for a couple, which is disturbing really. It's not any other time though and he holds on for dear life, feeling the cold metal on his hand grow warm between their fingers and realizes that the dull ache he usually feels whenever he notices the silver on his finger is oddly absent.

Probably best not to consider that too closely for the moment.


End file.
